The other night when I left work after a long night, I caught myself grumbling as I crawled down into the 1994 Dodge Colt I drive, while my hubby has our 2009 Toyota for his considerable commute.
I think it went something along the lines of, “because with everything I’m trying to deal with in life, all I deserve is this crappy car.”
I stopped myself RIGHT THERE.
THE UNIVERSE DOES NOT OWE ME A CAR OF ANY KIND.
I reminded myself, once again, that it’s the CHOICES that I have made in my life, and continue to make, that have me driving the car I drive, which is, in fact, my father’s car in the first place.
I thought back to the excellent sermon Pastor Steve preached on Sunday about the myths that even believers tend to want to cling to.
If you haven’t heard that sermon, you should, and can hear it here: http://www.gracegladstone.com/images/sermons/8-7-2011.mp3
One of the myths was, “If you love me, you will carry my load.” The truth is, we all make choices in life and are responsible for dealing with the fallout of those choices ourselves.
I know I had challenges back in my college days, but I could have finished.
I could have graduated.
I could have a better job now.
If I did, we may still live in the Twin Cities. Who knows?
I didn’t have to marry the first man who showed a long-term interest in me, but fear and anger were part of that decision. (Not trying to be offensive here, but it’s the truth.)
At any point along the line here, including now, I could have pursued more education.
I have not.
The list of choices I’ve made that have led to this place is endless.
Not that everything about this place is bad. Much of it is very good.
Relative stability for the children, for instance.
A home of our own again.
But I think of that sermon and my own path and then think of my son Eric.
You’re making serious, foundational choices, dude…..
Like I told you this afternoon,
“Be careful out there, ok?”
I won’t be able to save you from your own choices.